Motherhood can make you feel like you’re constantly giving. Your time, your energy, your body—it all goes to your family, your kids, your work.
But here’s the truth I want you to hear today: you matter.
Not because of what you do or how much you give, but because of who you are.
Your needs matter.
Your emotions matter.
Your dreams and desires matter.
And if that’s hard to believe right now, I hope this post helps bring you back to yourself.
Why Your Needs Matter (Even When They’re Hard to Prioritize)
It’s easy to lose sight of your needs when you’re in the thick of motherhood. Babies are like little need machines, demanding your attention around the clock. If you’ve been through childbirth, your body has already endured so much, and yet, the care for your baby doesn’t stop long enough to let you fully rest and recover.
Even now, as I’m writing this, I’m recovering from being sick. Before I had kids, being sick meant I could rest all weekend, cancel my plans, and Netflix my way through it. These days? Even if I’m lucky enough to get a nap, I’m still up at night breastfeeding and caring for a little one who’s completely dependent on me. That kind of constant giving can make it easy to forget that your needs matter too.
Things like sleep, hydration, and nourishing food aren’t luxuries—they’re essential. And while it may not always be possible to meet those needs fully, acknowledging that they’re important is the first step.
Your Desires Matter Too
And here’s the thing: it’s not just about basic survival needs like food and sleep. Your desires matter, too. What you want, what you crave, what lights you up—those things are a vital part of who you are.
Maybe you’re longing to reconnect with nature, spend time creating something, or dance like nobody’s watching. Maybe your desire is smaller, like carving out a little corner of your home that feels beautiful and peaceful. Or maybe it’s bigger, like rediscovering a passion or a dream that got pushed aside.
Whatever it is, your desires deserve space. Even if you can only honor them in small, simple ways, they matter. And the more you let yourself acknowledge them, the more you’ll start to see how they fit into your life.
Your Body Matters, Even When It’s Hard to Care for It
Motherhood changes your body in profound ways. And sometimes, it feels like there’s no space to care for it properly. Maybe you’re dealing with pain from breastfeeding or still not getting enough sleep. Maybe you’re running on scraps, literally and figuratively, eating what’s left on your kids’ plates instead of nourishing yourself.
Here’s the truth: your body matters. Your pain matters. And two things can be true at the same time: that your body is asking for care and that, right now, it’s hard to give it what it needs. But even small steps—like asking yourself what would nourish you today or making a cup of tea just for you—are ways to affirm that you matter.
Your Emotions Are Valid
Motherhood teaches us to be attuned to our kids’ feelings, but in the process, we can start to overlook our own. The truth is, your emotions matter. Your hurt feelings, your joy, your frustrations—they all deserve care and attention.
You don’t need to share every feeling with your kids; they’re not responsible for processing them. But you can honor your emotions by journaling, talking to a friend, or bringing them to therapy. Taking care of your emotional needs isn’t indulgent—it’s essential.
Reclaiming Yourself Starts with Remembering You Matter
For many of us, the idea that we don’t matter as much as others started long before motherhood. Maybe it came from childhood wounds or family dynamics where someone else’s needs always came first. Or maybe it’s tied to patterns of people-pleasing, where pushing your needs aside became a survival strategy.
Motherhood can amplify these patterns, making it easy to lose yourself entirely in service to others. But it’s possible to reclaim who you are. By acknowledging that your needs, desires, and emotions matter, you can start to rebuild a connection to yourself—and from that place, everything grows.
A Simple Practice to Affirm That You Matter
Take a moment. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes (if you can), and take a deep breath. Say to yourself, I matter.
Not because of who I am to others or what I accomplish, but because of who I am, with all my imperfections and gifts. I matter.
Now, imagine that younger version of yourself—the little one inside who maybe wondered if she mattered. Bring her close. Let her hear you say, We matter. You matter so much, just as you are.
This truth applies to you just as much as it applies to your children. Every day, you show them they matter simply for being themselves. It’s time to show yourself the same love.
Motherhood calls us to nurture, support, and grow the lives of others. But none of that can happen sustainably if you don’t first recognize your own worth. As Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? And if not now, when?”
It’s not selfish to believe that you matter—it’s essential. From this grounded truth, we grow into the mothers and humans we’re meant to be.